My 100 Day Sabbatical — Question & Attempted Answers Edition
When I returned from sabbatical I asked my community on social media what they were most curious about. Here I collected most of their questions and attempted to answer them.
Did you get anxious that you were supposed to have some kind of revelation? How did you set that expectation with yourself and did it come true?
A few times I got anxious because I worried that I was wasting my one opportunity to have a sabbatical and was not doing it “right.” Like I wasn’t resting enough or reflecting enough or thinking about the things I was “supposed” to think about. Before I left a friend suggested that I think through a series of questions, make no decisions, but try to return with a sense of HOW I will go about making a decision about what’s next — a process for deciding. That advice was very helpful because it helped me release myself from the expectation that I figure it all out during my sabbatical. I did return with some parameters for myself to choose my next steps. So, I still don’t know what is next, but I can rule some things out. Interestingly, my process for choosing what is next looks a lot like my process when I first began my career — try a variety of things on and see what fits then move forward doing more of the thing(s) that fit best. Trust my instinct and how it feels to do this thing or that thing.
Often sabbaticals are wasted in logistics and people do not pause and think. What practices helped you to focus?
I made a spreadsheet months before I left and planned about half of my sabbatical logistics before I departed so I knew the beginning and end, but had some flexibility in the middle. My first major stop was for a month so I could rest. I chose a very small town so everything was within walking distance and there was not much to do other than go on long walks along the river. I minimized the need to handle logistics for the first portion and while I was there, I filled in the rest of the spreadsheet with my other plans so I did not have to do it while on the go. The spreadsheet was very helpful because I was able to see at a glance which dates I had lodging sorted, which transportation was already done, etc. I also kept my budget there and if things changed while I was traveling (which it did a few times) I could easily update it and have that spreadsheet serve as my tracking document and memory. So, I did spend a bit of time doing logistics, but travel planning is joyful for me so it felt like fun. I even helped a few friends and former students plan their upcoming trips while I was away :)
The other tool I used was public transportation. Except for a short period (6 days) when I did a roadtrip in Spain with my partner, I did not have a car. Not having a car to worry about significantly minimizes logistics. I walked almost everywhere and when I couldn’t do that I took the bus or train.
What did you find (unexpectedly?) challenging during your “time off”?
One of the reasons I chose to go away for my sabbatical rather than stay in my hometown of Portland is that when I am home, I am constantly spending time with people. Sometimes for work, sometimes for fun, but usually it is a blend of both since many of my friends are also colleagues or vice versa. As an introvert, I love being alone and I knew that I needed some deep alone time. I also knew if I stayed nearby, I would not be able to get that. One thing I found challenging was how quickly people seemed to “forget” about me and how lonely that felt at times. People who I would be in touch with often while at home who would periodically write to see how I was doing stopped doing that and it made me think about the meaning of friendships which was not something I expected to be reflecting on. It was interesting to see what happened when I stopped initiating check ins and when habits and patterns of hanging out were broken. And helpful for me to get a glimpse of this as I consider taking on a life path in the future that has me away from home more often.
What gifts will you take from your social experiences in each location?
Once upon a time I had a personal goal of trying to have a positive and memorable impact in every conversation I had no matter how short it was (well, anything that was more than a couple minutes anyway). I had forgotten about that ambition, but it came back to me during sabbatical — I knew I was not going to make long lasting friendships with people I met while traveling (I intentionally did not want to try to do that), but I could still try to have a positive impact. So, I did things like leave thank you cards for my Airbnb hosts and start a conversation with the woman who ran the bookstore in the small town where I stayed for a month and took time to ask my day tour guide why he chose that line of work and where his passion for it came from. I could tell it was rare for them to have those sorts of experiences and interactions in their daily or weekly or monthly life, so it was a good reminder for me of the importance of making genuine human connections anywhere in the world. It gave me a sense of mattering even in a small way and I hope it made their day or week or month better.
I also had the gift of meeting up with 4 friends while traveling, only one of which was expected in advance. Each time I spent focused quality time with my friend and because we were out of our usual home base locations and we were solely there to be together, it felt much richer than many usual “hang outs.” From this experience I am taking the gift of those memories and a reminder of the importance of making time and effort to create those types of memories with friends. Travel together. Experience new things together. Not just with family and romantic partners, but also with friends and colleagues who matter to you.
What were the strongest feelings/emotions you felt on your sabbatical? What did you take away from each of those moments/situations then? Looking back, do you take anything different away from them now, has anything shifted (or continued to shift)?
The strongest feelings / emotions were gratitude and peacefulness. My overarching goal was to rest, reflect, and find my way back to who I am when I set down all my roles and responsibilities and the expectations of others. I found that I was often able to settle into that and connect mostly with gratitude and peacefulness. At first it took intentionally paying attention — going on walks in nature and letting my mind wander, turning off social media, reading books rather than watching TV, looking out the window often. Eventually I was able to do it even in more social or hectic moments like waiting for the bus or walking through a museum. I hope to be able to carry this with me now that I am back home. So far (only a few days back) I have not been very successful. What I am experiencing most upon re-entry is frustration. With myself, with the United States, with the people I thought I was supposed to be able to count on, with the everyday things that keep going “wrong.” It reminds me that the most common negative emotion / feeling I had while away was also frustration. There, though, it was mostly frustration with myself — the time when I got on the wrong bus because I was trying to take a shortcut to get to where I was going, the time when I bought “dumb” things at the grocery store because I was in a hurry and no other place was open within walking distance. It seems like I handle frustration with myself a bit better than I do when I experience frustration with others — I am quicker to let it go and can usually slow down and regroup and find my way back to peace. I am still working on figuring out how to do this better when frustrated with others.
What would you have truly done differently or what advice would you have given yourself prior to sabbatical- if you could of?!
I would have been more intentional with planning the end of my sabbatical. It felt a bit abrupt to go from being alone in a resting and reflecting mode to being social with friends, family and holidays. If I were to do it again, I would make the last couple weeks as intentionally restful and reflective as the first couple weeks.
One thing I really wanted to do while on sabbatical was spend a couple weeks doing a Workaway volunteer gig and I did not get the chance to do that despite reaching out to several hosts. The timing was not right and my search radius was not large enough. I would have prioritized that more and maybe even made that the thing I did for the final couple weeks of sabbatical.
Any regrets? I’m also curious whether you integrated into the communities where you lived temporarily and considered yourself differently than a tourist.
No regrets. I achieved the goals I set out to achieve — rest, reflect, reset and get back to who I am when I set down others’ expectations. I did twice find myself in a town I was not enjoying and noticing I was shutting down emotionally. The first time I sat with that feeling for a few days before it was time to move on. The second time it happened, I immediately changed my plans and left there and went on to a new place and am very glad I did.
In a couple places I acted like a tourist and signed up for walking tours or day trips or went to museums and sightseeing. That was fun to do a couple times and both times I did that was when I was with friends. Most of the time, though, I acted like a local and did things like go to the simple local restaurants, walk in parks, use the laundromat, and shop at the local market. The only place I integrated into was the town I stayed in for a month — Ponte de Lima. There I met the woman who owns the bookstore there (Ana is her name and her store, Livraria A União, is amazing), the couple who I rented the apartment from who also run a delightful children’s shop, Laurindinha, an American couple who moved there a few years ago, the man whose family has run the local small newspaper for generations, and a few folks who work in local restaurants. It is a small town and was both easy to get to know people because you run into them a lot as you walk around and also hard to know people because it is so family and community centered and I was an outsider. I often found myself wondering what they thought of me. Most people who visit that town do so for only a night or two on their way to somewhere else, so me staying for a month was highly unusual and it took a while for people on the street or in cafes to greet me with recognition once they realized I was there for a while.
Okay, whats the best dish that you ate? What’s the farthest you walked in one day, where were you, what did you see? What’s the best connection that you made with another human? What’s the most beautiful place that you visited?
Best dish — fondue in Paris on New Year’s Eve. Or the chocolate croissants in Ponte de Lima. Or the unexpectedly decadent coffee shop in Marrakech. Or the indulgent Francesinha and Super Bock in Porto. Or the all steak tasting menu in Barcelona. Or the high tea on a double decker bus in Edinburgh. The food was a highlight of my travels for sure — it was one of the things I was looking forward to most about being in Europe for so long and it did not disappoint. For food lovers, here is a collage of some of my favorite meals.
No, wait! The fish soup I had at a tiny place in a tiny house in Faroe Islands. Yeah, definitely that.
Farthest I walked in one day — 10.9 miles in Cordoba, Spain where I was exploring the town, including looking at possible apartments to buy there
Best connection I made with another human — Telma, the owner of the children’s shop and my Airbnb host in Ponte de Lima. She is also a mom and a high school teacher and we had lovely conversations about the education system and the impact of the pandemic on her students.
Most beautiful place — so many. Seriously, Most of the places I went were beautiful, The one that keeps coming to mind unbidden in my memories, though, is the Faroe Islands. I have never seen anything quite like it.
I’m curious to hear about how your tiny house/ minimalist lifestyle meshed with your sabbatical, since for many people vacation gets associated with “excess” — good food, wine, hotels, etc. I don’t know the exact questions to ask, but just curious if anything came up around living your values on sabbatical and, if so, what?
Living a minimalist life in a tiny house at home in Portland helped me a lot on these travels. I took only a backpack with me and had more clothes than I needed. I had never packed for a 3 month trip before so I took things I quickly realized I did not need and twice sent things home with friends and twice left things behind. By the end of the trip my backpack was about half full of gifts and souvenirs to bring home. Being minimalist and used to living simply meant it was easy for me to stay in a hostel and only have my bed as my own private space. Or I could pack a small bag and go on an overnight trip to a nearby town and feel comfortable. Because I was staying in apartments most of the time and had my own kitchen, I was able to go to the market and get the same staple items I usually have at home and cook most of my own meals that way.
I definitely also made the intentional decision to “splurge” several times. I bought several things in Morocco to bring home to redecorate my tiny house. I went to multiple very nice meals and ate food I could never cook for myself in my tiny house. I chose apartments or hotels that had bathtubs because I don’t have one in my tiny house. Usually when I travel I splurge on experiences more than things and I did that some too by going on day-long group trips to the Scottish Highlands, the Golden Circle in Iceland, and to Montserrat outside of Barcelona. Because I knew for over a year that I would be taking this sabbatical, I saved up funds for a long time so I did not have to be as cost-conscious as I am at home and I am glad I did that so I could have some of those experiences that would have normally been out of my budget.
P.S. For those who don’t know this about me, I had lived in my tiny house (84 square feet) for 12 years and love it. I wrote an article about it here.
I could have written so much more in response to most of these questions. Thank you everyone for submitting these and inviting me to share more relfections and stories from my sabbatical. If you have follow up questions about any of my responses or new questions, feel free to post them in the comments below. Thank you!
